TRANSCENDENCE

I'm on the Cover of a Photog's Book

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:45:08 GMT

WOMEN WEARING RIBBON.

http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/787248

Guess who's on the cover?

Ok, so a gazillion photog books get made every day---but I have never, ever been on the cover of any of them!

Wow :)

Hard to Believe

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:09:53 GMT

I'm going to be 40 years old in about 9 weeks.

This ride is getting wilder as I get older.

Pajama Day

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 23:22:36 GMT

After spending the last few nights feeling generally down, I got online and found a few dresses to wear at shoots and (hopefully) the KGB goth winter ball. I still have to find out what I need to go. They're not $200+ victorian goth corset dresses (as much as I'd like); but for 25-40 bucks each I found something that might make me feel pretty.

I'm praying that I'll find a better new year's eve party to go to because I'm afraid of running into Tom. But I'll be darned if I stay home that night on account of him. In time, I'll get over him.

It turns out to be an ok day to lounge around in my pj's, after all.

Holiday

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 00:49:09 GMT

I did something different this year. I decided to go out with Marcy and her other girl friends for a 'x-mas' dinner. It was more like a jaded womens' dinner with a twist of humor. Oddly, I found comfort in the fact that I am not the only girl whose relationship did not work out and here we are sitting together for dinner. Lots of girl talk and now and then the very young, male waiter caught us in awkward (albeit entertaining/educational) moments of conversation. Of course, it ended with an open ended x-mas dinner plan for next year--to see how each of us does in 2009. They want to have it in a timeshare in Hawaii. I'm not so sure about committing. With all the changes I'm making in my life, I have gut a feeling I won't be in a situation where I want or will be able to go next December.

Thanks for the Kind Words

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 03:11:36 GMT

...from my post about my failed relationship. You're both right, I should not give up or let it get the best of me. Probably the worst thing I could do is let the experience become emotional baggage that gets in the way of my next relationship. Then I would be no better off than the guy who dumped me (who let his issues get in the way of us).

It would seem, in retrospect, there is a silver lining to failed relationships. In coping with a loss, I am spurred onto a new endeavor--whether it be returning to school or taking on a new hobby--that opens up a new world of possibilities. After a few years of dabbling in the modeling for fun, I've been wanting to leave the computer programming field to do something more artistic and fulfilling. I was not successful at programming since I graduated 10 years ago anyway. (Graduating suma cum laude was the highlight of my career. How pathetic is that?)

I am now hopeful for admission into a rather expensive makeup certification program. Cosmetology may be my next endeavor after that--or a BA in Fine Arts specializing in Design in Performance (the artistic work that goes into a stage or photo shoot production--makeup, hair, wardrobe, lighting, scenology, etc). But small steps are my best bet right now.

It's taking an immense amount of willpower not to put in my 2 weeks notice and cash in the retirement to pay for retraining and a new life altogether.

For all the pretty pictures in the world

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 00:29:09 GMT

I would trade for a relationship with a good, decent man I'd fall in love with and who would love me in return. There's nothing I crave more than that soul deep connection. As a Pisces Leo rising--I am an intuitive, sensitive soul that craves the adoration and approval of her lover...someone I could adore and share my life with.

No matter how careful and selective I am, I manage to always find someone who has the attention span of a gnat (or a certain male body part). Once more, I have been used and tossed away. Yet again I've been told I've done nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong with me.

It feels like my heart has been ripped out. I don't know why I haven't given up on men altogether and become content with being alone. It's just not in my chemistry.

Now if I can make this ball of pain in my stomach go away, that would be nice. It would be even better, if only I could forget him and feel nothing for him.

Time is the only remedy. This really sucks.

First Edits

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 20:54:02 GMT

Having seen what Steve can do with my images, I realize that what is on the covers of those magazines are NOT real. Even so, what he does is an art which I do fully appreciate. I love it! (Although the last one makes me look like I hang out in tanning beds. In reality, I prefer the paler my skin, the better.)

Old Music :)

Tue, 20 May 2008 14:10:23 GMT

Today is m's birthday. She's hoping her ex-bf will get her tickets to Steeley Dan or Crosby Stills and Nash. Somehow (not to burst her bubble), I don't think it will happen. If it does, she wants me to go with her--which I am happy to do.

"Do you know who they are?," she asks.

"No," I smile, "but I'll go with you." m is always a fun gal to hang out with. I'm honored to share in celebrating the occasion of her birthday--or any occasion, really.

So my coworker, Lorraine, lends me a 3 CD series from Time Life to help me get familiar with the music of that era. I scan the play list and am pleasantly surprised to see John's not-so-favorite song on there. Growing up in Roswell, NM, it was one of the most oft played songs on the radio; so he hates it. A mischievous thought enters my head. Our office cubicles are next to each other's.

"Hey, John, 'Free Bird' is on here!"

There's a moment of silence.

"Um...can I borrow those CD's for a second?"

Ah, he knows me too well.

Maybe I Should Move to California

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:28:31 GMT

http://creativeclass.com/whos_your_city/maps/widget.php?map=FIG_13.1_The_Singles_Map.gif

Memory Lane: High School

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:01:52 GMT

M and I discovered that we both used to eat lunch in the restrooms when we were in high school. We were so ashamed that we had no friends to sit with in the cafeteria that we opted for the privacy of the girls' bathroom. Being a full 20 yrs older than me, M was in high school before I was born. As pathetic as it is, I'm willing to bet there are kids TODAY who are opting for the same for similar reasons. There was, and still is, so much pressure to be with the in-crowd of kids.

So, I'm 90% decided against going to my 21st high school reunion. I had pretty much been a very lonely kid with little interaction with others. Granted, we all shared the experience of living in Germany as military brats during the end of the Cold War; but there are no close personal relationships for me to revisit. My brother and sister would be the ones I interacted with the most.

Zwei High may be an important chapter that had a hand in creating who I am today; but I prefer to invest and live in the present--where I surround myself with a small circle of friends and loved ones who have so much more in common with me than there ever will be with the few acquaintances of my high school years.

Perhaps for my 25th or 30th year reunion, if I have the luxury of money to spend just for the fun of it, I'll go. BUT I'd forgo it in a heart beat to visit Germany for a week!

Hopefully Getting Better

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 22:17:31 GMT

Fever broke this morning. The last 24 hours have been hell. Sleep was near impossible with the aches, chills, and pain.

I dragged myself to my acupuncture appt this afternoon in hopes of finding relief. It amazes me how Barbara can find all my sore spots. (She calls them glandular pressure points for the immune system). She also gave me a hot drink of black walnut and a shot on my hip--B12 and something-globulin. Chills are gone but am sweating a bit. I have a surge of energy but am cautious. Barbara is what I would consider, in terms of the Old World, a white-witch. She has a way with healing that, for me, works more effectively than just Western medicine.

Sick, Sick, Sick

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 18:27:23 GMT

The past week I've been wearing glasses because my allergies are so bad. My eyes look like I've been through a few rounds with Rocky. Today, I planned to wash linen and clean house to seek relief from it.

An Angel of Mercy visited me. I now have a nasty cold that wracks my body with aches and chills. My head, shoulder sockets, back, and hips are centers of pain. My throat is raspy and, as much as I need to cough and sneeze, it hurts my head horribly to do so. Although I no longer hunger for food, I make myself eat soup which I cannot taste.

My eyes are still sticky--but they are no longer my source of annoyance. What a silver lining, indeed. I remind myself I am a spirit having a human experience.

Wee.

*hobbles back to bed for the blessing of unconsciousness*

Privileges Meme snagged from RedHotLips :)

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:24:51 GMT

Only items that seemed to apply to me are 1, 2, 30, and 34. My dad's income was so low, we qualified for the free lunch program. While I didn't have many of the privileges of other kids, I did have the privilege of living in Germany and the Philippines. Even without money, the experience of living in different countries is invaluable. That, and my mother being from a third world country, always pointed out how much more fortunate we were compared to the kids she grew up with in her home country.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college (2 yr tech degree from a correspondence school, while in the USAF and supporting family)
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children's books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
23. You and your family lived in a single family house
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
25. You had your own room as a child.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
28. Had your own TV in your room in High School
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 (life of a military brat)
31. Went on a cruise with your family
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family. (paid by USAF base housing)

Photoshop Magic

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 18:27:26 GMT

The illusion that is on the covers of magazines...and my photos!

Simple Photoshop work - but impressive results. Give it a second to load. A button should appear to the right (on the cover) that says Click to Unveil the Fraud.

http://demo.fb.se/e/girlpower/retouch/retouch/index.html

Christmas Carols for the Disturbed

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 17:37:39 GMT

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle

Love Those Gift Boxes

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:50:51 GMT

Wrap a forgettable gift in a box to remember (Courtesy of the Onion.com)

http://store.theonion.com/cards_giftboxes-c-21.html?utm_source=OH_var_02_rhCol

Canine Rabies Challenge Studies Begins

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 04:44:04 GMT

The Rabies Challenge Fund is pleased to announce that the canine rabies challenge studies have begun!!! Permission is granted to post and cross-post the text of our press release below.

Regards,
Kris L. Christine
Founder, Co-Trustee
The Rabies Challenge Fund

http://www.RabiesChallengeFund.org

CANINE RABIES CHALLENGE STUDIES BEGIN !

            One of the most important vaccine research studies in veterinary medicine is underway at the University of Wisconsin School of Veterinary Medicine in Madison. Dr. Ronald Schultz, a leading authority on veterinary vaccines and Chair of the Department of Pathobiological Sciences, has begun concurrent 5 and 7 year challenge studies to determine the long-term duration of immunity of the canine rabies vaccine, with the goal of extending the state-mandated interval for boosters. These will be the first long-term challenge studies on the canine rabies vaccine to be published in the United States.

Dr. Schultz comments that: "We are all very excited to start this study that will hopefully demonstrate that rabies vaccines can provide a minimum of 7 years of immunity."

        This research is being financed by The Rabies Challenge Fund, a charitable trust founded by pet vaccine disclosure advocate Kris L. Christine of Maine, who serves as Co-Trustee with world-renowned Veterinary research scientist and practicing clinician, Dr. W. Jean Dodds of Hemopet in California. The Rabies Challenge Fund recently met its goal of $177,000 to fund the studies' first year budget with contributions from dog owners, canine groups, trainers, veterinarians, and small businesses. Annual budget goals of $150,000 for the studies must be met in the future.

            Dr. Jean Dodds, DVM states: "This is the first time in my 43 years of involvement in veterinary issues that what started as a grass-roots effort to change an outmoded regulation affecting animals will be addressed scientifically by an acknowledged expert to benefit all canines in the future."

Scientific data published in 1992 by Michel Aubert and his research team demonstrated that dogs were immune to a rabies challenge 5 years after vaccination, while Dr. Schultz's serological studies documented antibody titer counts at levels known to confer immunity to rabies 7 years post-vaccination.   This data strongly suggests that state laws requiring annual or triennial rabies boosters for dogs are redundant.

Because the rabies vaccine is the most potent of the veterinary vaccines and associated with significant adverse reactions, it should not be given more often than is necessary to maintain immunity. Adverse reactions such autoimmune diseases affecting the thyroid, joints, blood, eyes, skin, kidney, liver, bowel and central nervous system; anaphylactic shock; aggression; seizures; epilepsy; and fibrosarcomas at injection sites are linked to rabies vaccinations.

Study co-trustee Kris Christine adds: "Because the USDA does not require vaccine manufacturers to provide long-term duration of immunity studies documenting maximum effectiveness when licensing their products, concerned dog owners have contributed the money to fund this research themselves. We want to ensure that rabies immunization laws are based upon independent, long-term scientific data."

            More information and regular updates on The Rabies Challenge Fund and the concurrent 5 and 7 year challenge studies it is financing can be found at the fund's website designed by volunteer Andrea Brin at:

http://www.RabiesChallengeFund.org

This is so me! Ganked from liquid_sunshine

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 04:36:59 GMT

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Bharathanatyam costume

Sat, 29 Sep 2007 03:24:03 GMT

I've been taking lessons for over a year and half and learning the adawous, my first pushpanjali, Sabdam, and Kautuam. I'll be doing my first performance in November (for Diwali). I'm a bit nervous about the idea of performing because everyone in my class has been taking lessons for at least 5 yrs. Hopefully, I'll be in the back part of the stage. Unfortunately, I have no costume!

I'll probably end up borrowing someone's for this performance; but have started to look online for ideas of what I want when I can have one custom made one day. I'd looooooooove, love, love, LOVE this one!


	But I like this one, too.

More can be seen here: http://www.krdressers.com/costm1.html

MAYBE just maybe I'll get lucky enough to get better at the modeling to earn a little money on the side to buy my own costume.

I can dream, can't I?

First Pic of Saturday's Shoot

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:40:50 GMT

Mark's already made it his avatar on Model Mayhem. He is awesome.

You can tell I had problems with the hair; but even so, it wasn't a bad shot. Imagine what I could accomplish with the help of the makeup artist that Mark wants me to collaborate with (she knows how to do the hair). The gloves don't work in this shot, though.

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:58:32 GMT

You could have been a famous Artist

Who Were You in a Past Life?

Brought to you by Tickle

Ms. Swan at Lowered Expectations

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 02:46:30 GMT

Gawd, I wish I had DSL. Ms Swan reminds me of my mom.

IwannapuppyIwannapuppyIwannapuppy

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 02:44:20 GMT

These are posted pics of a new pup on the ACD-L community

Here's a couple of pics:
http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s50/dubbogod/IMG_0014.jpg
http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s50/dubbogod/IMG_0023.jpg
http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s50/dubbogod/IMG_0102.jpg

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 01:09:59 GMT

So tired. This full-moon-lunatic eclipse (in Pisces--my sign, no less) has brought on the strangest series of events the past 24 hours and has left me high strung and worn out.

I'm tired of being me and need to forget myself. To my frustration, the Kautuam dance lesson couldn't do that. Sometimes I can lose myself in the joy of it. I can be the deity riding that peacock with spear in hand--proud, fierce, and beautiful. Not today.

All I yearn for right now is to be in my Sir's arms--either warm and safe or vulnerable and at his mercy.

I'll feel better tomorrow.

I hope.

LJ Drama

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:13:18 GMT

I had to unfriend and ban someone from my journal for the first time. This guy just doesn't know how to back off and agree to disagree.

I never thought this would be necessary in my little journal with such a tiny f-list. Ah well, no one is safe from annoying and rude people no matter where you go.