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Jul. 12th, 2009 @ 05:42 pm I'm on the Cover of a Photog's Book
Current Mood: happy

WOMEN WEARING RIBBON.

http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/763530

Guess who's on the cover?

Ok, so a gazillion photog books get made every day---but I have never, ever been on the cover of any of them!

Wow :)

 

solare
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Jan. 4th, 2009 @ 11:08 pm Hard to Believe
Current Mood: curious
I'm going to be 40 years old in about 9 weeks. 

This ride is getting wilder as I get older.
solare
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Dec. 28th, 2008 @ 03:57 pm Pajama Day
Current Mood: determined
After spending the last few nights feeling generally down, I got online and found a few dresses to wear at shoots and (hopefully) the KGB goth winter ball.  I still have to find out what I need to go.  They're not $200+ victorian goth corset dresses (as much as I'd like); but for 25-40 bucks each I found something that might make me feel pretty.

I'm praying that I'll find a better new year's eve party to go to because I'm afraid of running into Tom.  But I'll be darned if I stay home that night on account of him.  In time, I'll get over him.

It turns out to be an ok day to lounge around in my pj's, after all. 

 

solare
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Dec. 26th, 2008 @ 05:23 pm Holiday
Current Mood: thoughtful
I did something different this year.  I decided to go out with Marcy and her other girl friends for a 'x-mas' dinner.  It was more like a jaded womens' dinner with a twist of humor.  Oddly, I found comfort in the fact that I am not the only girl whose relationship did not work out and here we are sitting together for dinner.  Lots of girl talk and now and then the very young, male waiter caught us in awkward (albeit entertaining/educational) moments of conversation.  Of course, it ended with an open ended x-mas dinner plan for next year--to see how each of us does in 2009. They want to have it in a timeshare in Hawaii.  I'm not so sure about committing.  With all the changes I'm making in my life, I have gut a feeling I won't be in a situation where I want or will be able to go next December.  
solare
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Dec. 17th, 2008 @ 07:53 pm Thanks for the Kind Words
Current Mood: crushed
...from my post about my failed relationship.  You're both right, I should not give up or let it get the best of me.  Probably the worst thing I could do is let the experience become emotional baggage that gets in the way of my next relationship.  Then I would be no better off than the guy who dumped me (who let his issues get in the way of us).

It would seem, in retrospect, there is a silver lining to failed relationships.  In coping with a loss, I am spurred onto a new endeavor--whether it be returning to school or taking on a new hobby--that opens up a new world of possibilities.  After a few years of dabbling in the modeling for fun, I've been wanting to leave the computer programming field to do something more artistic and fulfilling.  I was not successful at programming since I graduated 10 years ago anyway.  (Graduating suma cum laude was the highlight of my career.  How pathetic is that?)

I am now hopeful for admission into a rather expensive makeup certification program.  Cosmetology may be my next endeavor after that--or a BA in Fine Arts specializing in Design in Performance (the artistic work that goes into a stage or photo shoot production--makeup, hair, wardrobe, lighting, scenology, etc).  But small steps are my best bet right now.

It's taking an immense amount of willpower not to put in my 2 weeks notice and cash in the retirement to pay for retraining and a new life altogether. 
Hang in There
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Dec. 16th, 2008 @ 05:11 pm For all the pretty pictures in the world
Current Mood: sad
I would trade for a relationship with a good, decent man I'd fall in love with and who would love me in return.  There's nothing I crave more than that soul deep connection.  As a Pisces Leo rising--I am an intuitive, sensitive soul that craves the adoration and approval of her lover...someone I could adore  and share my life with.

No matter how careful and selective I am,  I manage to always find someone who has the attention span of a gnat (or a certain male body part).  Once more, I have been used and tossed away.  Yet again I've been told I've done nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong with me. 

It feels like my heart has been ripped out.  I don't know why I haven't given up on men altogether and become content with being alone.  It's just not in my chemistry. 

Now if I can make this ball of pain in my stomach go away, that would be nice.  It would be even better, if only I could forget him and feel nothing for him.

Time is the only remedy.  This really sucks.
PrimoPiano
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Nov. 17th, 2008 @ 01:45 pm First Edits
Current Mood: complacent
   

Having seen what Steve can do with my images, I realize that what is on the covers of those magazines are NOT real.  Even so, what he does is an art which I do fully appreciate.  I love it! (Although the last one makes me look like I hang out in tanning beds.  In reality, I prefer the paler my skin, the better.)

solare
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May. 20th, 2008 @ 08:07 am Old Music :)
Current Mood: mischievous

Today is m's birthday.  She's hoping her ex-bf will get her tickets to Steeley Dan or Crosby Stills and Nash.  Somehow (not to burst her bubble), I don't think it will happen. If it does, she wants me to go with her--which I am happy to do. 

"Do you know who they are?,"  she asks.

"No,"  I smile, "but I'll go with you."  m is always a fun gal to hang out with.  I'm honored to share in celebrating the occasion of her birthday--or any occasion, really.

So my coworker, Lorraine, lends me a 3 CD series from Time Life to help me get familiar with the music of that era.   I scan the play list and am pleasantly surprised to see John's not-so-favorite song on there.  Growing up in Roswell, NM, it was one of the most oft played songs on the radio; so he hates it.  A mischievous thought enters my head.  Our office cubicles are next to each other's.

"Hey, John, 'Free Bird' is on here!"

There's a moment of silence. 

"Um...can I borrow those CD's for a second?"

Ah, he knows me too well. 

solare
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Apr. 3rd, 2008 @ 09:28 am Maybe I Should Move to California
Current Mood: contemplative
http://creativeclass.com/whos_your_city/maps/widget.php?map=FIG_13.1_The_Singles_Map.gif
solare
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Feb. 5th, 2008 @ 03:56 pm Memory Lane: High School
Current Mood: contemplative
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M and I discovered that we both used to eat lunch in the restrooms when we were in high school.  We were so ashamed that we had no friends to sit with in the cafeteria that we opted for the privacy of the girls' bathroom.  Being a full 20 yrs older than me, M was in high school before I was born.  As pathetic as it is, I'm willing to bet there are kids TODAY who are opting for the same for similar reasons.   There was, and still is, so much pressure to be with the in-crowd of kids.

So, I'm 90% decided against going to my 21st high school reunion.  I had pretty much been a very lonely kid with little interaction with others.  Granted, we all shared the experience of living in Germany as military brats during the end of the Cold War; but there are no close personal relationships for me to revisit.  My brother and sister would be the ones I interacted with the most. 

Zwei High may be an important chapter that had a hand in creating who I am today; but I prefer to invest and live in the present--where I surround myself with a small circle of friends and loved ones who have so much more in common with me than there ever will be with the few acquaintances of my high school years. 

Perhaps for my 25th or 30th year reunion, if I have the luxury of money to spend just for the fun of it, I'll go.  BUT I'd forgo it in a heart beat to visit Germany for a week!
solare
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Jan. 21st, 2008 @ 03:06 pm Hopefully Getting Better
Current Mood: sick
Fever broke this morning.  The last 24 hours have been hell.  Sleep was near impossible with the aches, chills, and pain.

I dragged myself to my acupuncture appt this afternoon in hopes of finding relief.  It amazes me how Barbara can find all my sore spots. (She calls them glandular pressure points for the immune system).  She also gave me a hot drink of black walnut and a shot on my hip--B12 and something-globulin.  Chills are gone but am sweating a bit.  I have a surge of energy but am cautious.  Barbara is what I would consider, in terms of the Old World, a white-witch.  She has a way with healing that, for me, works more effectively than just Western medicine.
solare
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Jan. 20th, 2008 @ 11:21 am Sick, Sick, Sick
Current Mood: sick
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The past week I've been wearing glasses because my allergies are so bad.  My eyes look like I've been through a few rounds with Rocky.  Today, I planned to wash linen and clean house to seek relief from it.  

An Angel of Mercy visited me.  I now have a nasty cold that wracks my body with aches and chills.  My head, shoulder sockets, back, and hips are centers of pain.  My throat is raspy and, as much as I need to cough and sneeze, it hurts my head horribly to do so.  Although I no longer hunger for food, I make myself eat soup which I cannot taste.

My eyes are still sticky--but they are no longer my source of annoyance.  What a silver lining, indeed.  I remind myself I am a spirit having a human experience.

Wee.

*hobbles back to bed for the blessing of unconsciousness*
solare
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Jan. 7th, 2008 @ 08:13 am Privileges Meme snagged from RedHotLips :)
Current Mood: uneasy
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Only items that seemed to apply to me are 1, 2, 30, and 34.  My dad's income was so low, we qualified for the free lunch program.  While I didn't have many of the privileges of other kids, I did have the privilege of living in Germany and the Philippines.  Even without money, the experience of living in different countries is invaluable.  That, and my mother being from a third world country, always pointed out how much more fortunate we were compared to the kids she grew up with in her home country.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college (2 yr tech degree from a correspondence school, while in the USAF and supporting family) 
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children's books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp 
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
23. You and your family lived in a single family house
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
25. You had your own room as a child.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course 
28. Had your own TV in your room in High School
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 (life of a military brat)
31. Went on a cruise with your family
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family. (paid by USAF base housing)
solare
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Jan. 3rd, 2008 @ 11:25 am Photoshop Magic
Current Mood: tired

The illusion that is on the covers of magazines...and my photos!

Simple Photoshop work - but impressive results.  Give it a second to load.  A button should appear to the right (on the cover) that says Click to Unveil the Fraud. 

solare
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Dec. 17th, 2007 @ 10:37 am Christmas Carols for the Disturbed
Current Mood: amused
1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
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Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
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Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
solare
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Dec. 12th, 2007 @ 11:48 am Love Those Gift Boxes
Current Mood: amused
Wrap a forgettable gift in a box to remember (Courtesy of the Onion.com)

http://store.theonion.com/cards_giftboxes-c-21.html?utm_source=OH_var_02_rhCol
solare
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Dec. 1st, 2007 @ 09:42 pm Canine Rabies Challenge Studies Begins
Tags:
The Rabies Challenge Fund is pleased to announce that the canine rabies challenge studies have begun!!!  Permission is granted to post and cross-post the text of our press release below.

Regards, 
Kris L. Christine
Founder, Co-Trustee
The Rabies Challenge Fund

http://www.RabiesChallengeFund.org
solare
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Oct. 10th, 2007 @ 10:36 pm This is so me! Ganked from liquid_sunshine


You are The Moon


Hope, expectation, Bright promises.


The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.


The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Dream Unexpected Box
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Sep. 28th, 2007 @ 09:13 pm Bharathanatyam costume
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I've been taking lessons for over a year and half and learning the adawous, my first pushpanjali, Sabdam, and Kautuam.  I'll be doing my first performance in November (for Diwali).  I'm a bit nervous about the idea of performing because everyone in my class has been taking lessons for at least 5 yrs.  Hopefully, I'll be in the back part of the stage.  Unfortunately, I have no costume! 

I'll probably end up borrowing someone's for this performance; but have started to look online for ideas of what I want when I can have one custom made one day.  I'd looooooooove, love, love, LOVE this one!

   But I like this one, too.

More can be seen here:  http://www.krdressers.com/costm1.html

MAYBE just maybe I'll get lucky enough to get better at the modeling to earn a little money on the side to buy my own costume. 

I can dream, can't I?
Earring
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Sep. 24th, 2007 @ 08:33 pm First Pic of Saturday's Shoot
Current Mood: artistic
Tags:
Mark's already made it his avatar on Model Mayhem.  He is awesome. 

You can tell I had problems with the hair; but even so, it wasn't a bad shot.  Imagine what I could accomplish with the help of the makeup artist that Mark wants me to collaborate with (she knows how to do the hair).  The gloves don't work in this shot, though.


solare
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